Heavy.
My eyelids are heavy. Rolling over my eyeballs like the tide.
My arms are heavy. I couldn’t lift the light off a candle.
My feet are heavy. I shuffle like a deck of cards in a basement filled with sin.
My stomach is heavy. Like a bag filled with stones sinking steadily into the abyss.
My heart is heavy. Like a snowball down a hill; Growing bigger as it grows heavier.
My mind is heavy. Like heavy metal it’s all a white noise with occasional pangs of grief.
My back is heavy. Subsequently the pack rat became encumbered, as he would pile all of the woes, all of the tears, all of the trouble, all of the midnight escapes, all of the first impressions, vicious smiles, sneering remarks, punches to the face, knife to the throats, bullet to the hearts, tyrants, genocide, history, disregard, vanity, ignorance, bliss, grace, helping hands, smiling faces, lost moments, broken hearts, lost souls, empty homes, broken homes, empty tombs, garden gnomes, americana, la cabana, racial slurs, slaughterhouse reveries, hungry mouths, cancer, big sky country, Jack Kerouac, thick forests, empty plains, schoolyard banter, suicide notes, hatred, mercy, empathy, cardiac arrests, sudden deaths, violent crime, drug abuse, socialism, departures, hellos, favors, backstabbers, greed, currency, economies, decadence, providence, coincidence, fate, tiki huts and estates on to his back.
All of this and more. So so heavy.
Like Atlas, I need a shift change. I need a break.
I need to be stronger. I need to be brave.
My mouth is heavy. From holding back so many words.
My chest is heavy from the smog.
I’m heavy. I sink into my ascension.
