Just so we can start this review off on the right foot, let me first say that I saw this 
movie, I think, 2 weeks ago, and am just now writing the review. Why is this you ask? Because I simply forgot that I saw it.
Yesterday someone asked me if I had seen it, and told me they had not seen the review on my blog so they thought they would ask about it, and well…it struck me that I did see it, I had to double check my blog to see if I really hadn’t written a review for it yet.
With that being said, this movie is the most forgettable piece of work. I mean wow. It’s no joke. It’s almost like I blacked out for the duration of the movie.
It’s not a bad movie, no no. It’s action packed, you have a chuckle here and there. It’s alright at most. Worth going to the movies over? No. Rental? For sure.
So what does this movie do right?
It pays homage to the action movies of the past, with outrageous stunts and a ridiculously simple storyline. And of course action and gore galore.
What does this movie fuck up?
Plenty. First off, I did not like the special effects. There’s a healthy amount of blood in this movie, what’s the problem with it? Well…it’s CG. Not tomato sauce, or strawberry jello. It is computer generated blood.
At some point there’s a dude on fire. Also computer generated!
Whatever happened to stunt men? Whatever happened to red ooze and green slime?
Same thing ruined “Alice in Wonderland” for me a little bit, I mean c’mon…CG horses?! Hollywood cannot afford real horses anymore?! Man things have changed considerably since Hidalgo, Seabiscuit and Braveheart then.
Same thing ruined “Drag me to Hell”..CG everything. I don’t know how you can do a throwback to old action movies, where pretty much all the good stuff is computer generated and fake.
It takes so much away from the movie.
I can actually open up a big can of worms here, but I choose not to.
I will leave it at: “People depend on technology and the ease thereof, that they forget that the easier, more modern route is not always the way to go.
I mean look at the 3D fad! Hollywood loves it, they are going head on with 3D. Have you heard, or seen the rage, and pure hatred that is pouring out from everywhere across the world about 3D?! How people don’t want it, how they promise to not watch TV anymore when it’s all gone 3D?
What about the articles about how dangerous 3D is for our eyesight. And yet 3D gaming, 3D TV, 3D movies, 3D newspapers and magazines. Oh yes, it’s all coming.
Guys, part of why I loved the action genre so much was that because when a body exploded on screen it would literally be a bag of ground beef, some ooze, food coloring and God knows what else, would actually explode, and you know what? It looked far more real than the Toy Story gag they pulled on us here in this feature.
Now this is a little thing, but it surely knocked plenty of points off of the movie.
Also some cheap jokes here and there, not doing it for me. And of course the story is well…shitty.
They are moving ahead with a sequel so you know, I am looking forward to it, but this time, it is going to be a rental.
With a summer laden with team based action movies, the Expendables falls short of delivering something solid, or even delivering some competition with others like A-Team and The Losers.
Personally, this summer, when it comes to team based action flicks, A-Team and Predators take the cake.
Expendables, this movie has earned its title in full.
5/10
